A Losing Battle
by RosesAndRomantics
Summary: After the cave-in in Korea, Amy's heart was broken. She trusted Ian, only to be betrayed by him. Now, Amy learns that trying to recover from a tragedy is sometimes like fighting a losing battle. *Takes place between books 3 and 4 of the Clue Hunt series. One-shot.*


**A/N: Hi guys! This is my first time ever writing for the 39 Clues fandom, and I'm super excited! I hope you like it!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the 39 Clues, Rachel Platten, or any of her songs.**

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Pain.

That's all Amy Cahill had felt for the last few hours.

Physical pain from the cuts and bruises she had obtained narrowly escaping a cave-in while searching for a clue.

Emotional pain from knowing that her uncle Alistair Oh – a trusted ally and friend – was now dead.

But neither of those pains was what Amy was suffering from most right now. The worst pain was a pain in her heart. A deep, aching pain that cut her just as sharply as a knife.

And it was all because of him – the one and only Ian Kabra.

Amy winced at this. Just thinking of his name brought back a flood of painful memories that Amy had tried to lock deep inside her. She shouldn't – _wouldn't_ – think of Ian. Not ever again. Still, despite the promises she made to herself, Amy couldn't help but recall the events that had taken place mere hours before.

It was all too horribly real. She tried to remember the good times they had had when she and Dan were working together with the Kabras. Sadly, the only image that seemed to be burned into her memory forever was the cruel smirk on Ian's face as he locked Amy in a cave and left her to die.

Amy was swallowed by another wave of despair just thinking about the terrifying experience. She numbly pushed open the heavy wooden doors at the entrance to the now-deceased Alistair's mansion. Barely able to walk, Amy made her way to the main staircase and trudged upward to the second floor, where the guest rooms were.

She was followed closely behind by her brother Dan and her au pair Nellie, both of whom were wearing worried expressions on their faces.

When Amy reached the second floor landing, she kept walking down the long hallway lined with doors each leading to a separate room. Amy stopped at the door to the room where she was staying. She put her hand on the brass knob, but she paused when Dan spoke.

"Amy, are you seriously still hung up about Ian?" he asked.

Nellie, noticing the hurt look on Amy's face, shot Dan a look that said "You're not helping". Then she added, "Listen, kiddo, it's going to be okay. Don't even worry about it anymore. If you ask me, that creep Ian didn't deserve someone as good as you."

Amy didn't say anything in reply. She really didn't feel like talking right now. If she did, she might break down in front of them. So, instead of facing Dan and Nellie, Amy turned the knob and slipped quietly into her room, shutting the door firmly behind her.

Once inside her room, Amy immediately flopped down on her bed and started sobbing silently into her pillow. All the emotion she had locked inside her came pouring out uncontrollably.

Amy knew that she should be planning their next move in the search for the 39 Clues, but she just couldn't right now. She had never before felt so helpless or weak, and she hated it.

Dan and Nellie's concerned whispers could still be heard outside Amy's door. Amy couldn't stand the fact that she was the cause of their worry, so she decided that she needed something to block the rest of the world out and keep her mind off her current situation.

Reaching over the side of her bed, Amy fished around in her backpack and pulled out her iPod and some earbuds. She put the earbuds on, turned the volume up as high as it would go, and laid back on her pillow, still crying softly.

The music helped a little, but it still didn't fix her problems completely. After listening to the fourth song on her playlist, Amy looked down at her iPod to see what song was up next and read, "Fight Song – by Rachel Platten."

Amy's finger hovered over the skip button, but she just couldn't bring herself to skip the song. Reluctantly, she put her hand back down at her side and listened as the song's opening chords rang out through her earbuds. And, unsurprisingly, her thoughts turned directly to Ian.

 **(The song lyrics will be in bold, Amy's thoughts will be in parenthesis.)**

 **Like a small boat**

 **On the ocean**

(an ocean of tears)

 **Sending big waves**

 **Into motion**

 **Like how a single word**

 **Can make a heart open**

("lovely")

 **I might only have one match**

 **But I can make an explosion**

(I've had enough of those to last a lifetime)

 **And all those things I didn't say**

(because I was too tongue-tied around him)

 **Wrecking balls inside my brain**

(along with all my other confusing emotions)

 **I will scream them loud tonight**

(yeah, right)

 **Can you hear my voice this time?**

(even if he could, he wouldn't care)

 **This is my fight song**

(what's worth fighting for anymore?)

 **Take back my life song**

(maybe I never had a life in the first place)

 **Prove I'm alright song**

(but I'm far from alright)

 **My power's turned on**

(more like off)

 **Starting right now I'll be strong**

(I'm nowhere near strong now)

 **I'll play my fight song**

 **And I don't really care if nobody else believes**

 **Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me**

(if only that were true)

 **Losing friends and I'm chasing sleep**

(up all night thinking about him)

 **Everybody's worried about me**

(two of them are outside my door right now)

 **I'm in too deep**

 **Say I'm in too deep**

(understatement of the year)

 **And it's been two years**

 **I miss my home**

(my real home...and my parents)

 **But there's a fire burning in my bones**

(if there is, I can't feel it)

 **And I still believe**

 **Yeah I still believe**

(what do I believe in anymore?)

 **And all those things I didn't say**

 **Wrecking balls inside my brain**

 **I will scream them loud tonight**

 **Can you hear my voice this time?**

 **This is my fight song**

(maybe there is something worth fighting for)

 **Take back my life song**

(my old life before this crazy Clue Hunt)

 **Prove I'm alright song**

(maybe I am alright – everybody else is messed up!)

 **My power's turned on**

 **Starting right now I'll be strong**

 **I'll play my fight song**

 **And I don't really care if nobody else believes**

(because I believe)

 **Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me**

 **A lot of fight left in me**

(I don't know about a lot, but I'm not done fighting yet)

 **Like a small boat**

 **On the ocean**

(oceans I never thought I'd cross until now)

 **Sending big waves**

 **Into motion**

(I don't have time to sit here moping when my friends are counting on me)

 **Like how a single word**

 **Can make a heart open**

(not anymore – he'll never fool me again)

 **I might only have one match**

 **But I can make an explosion**

 **This is my fight song**

(I'll wipe that stupid smirk off that Kabra's face)

 **Take back my life song**

(and win the Clue Hunt)

 **Prove I'm alright song**

(I'm fine, but he won't be when I get through with him)

 **My power's turned on**

(all thanks to him)

 **Starting right now I'll be strong**

(stronger than ever)

 **I'll play my fight song**

 **And I don't really care if nobody else believes**

(it doesn't matter what they think)

 **Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me**

(it's gonna take more than that to make me quit)

 **Now I've still got a lot of fight left in me**

As soon as the song ended, Amy knew what she needed to do. She ripped out her earbuds and shoved them, as well as her iPod, back into her backpack. She then slung her backpack over one shoulder and pushed open her door.

As soon as Nellie and Dan saw Amy's determined expression, they stopped talking and stared at Amy.

"Pack up your stuff, guys," Amy announced in a confident voice. "We're going to Egypt."

"Excuse me?" Nellie said, shocked.

"The clue we found in that cave back there was pointing to Egypt, so that's where we're headed," Amy explained.

Without waiting for a reply, Amy marched off towards the entrance hall.

"Is that the same Amy that was crying over Ian just a few minutes ago?" Dan asked Nellie incredulously.

Nellie just shrugged her shoulders and went off to pack.

About fifteen minutes later, Dan and Nellie rejoined Amy in the entrance hall. As Amy threw open the doors and walked into the crisp outside air, she knew she was now ready to face whatever happened. She was not going to let Ian Kabra get the best of her – at least not today, anyway.

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 **A/N: So, what did you think? I'm really curious, so please tell me in a review! I'd love to hear from you!**

 **If any of you guys have never heard of Fight Song, you should go look it up. It's really good! (at least I think so...) Either way, I thought it fit Amy and Ian perfectly. I mean, one of the lyrics was "In too deep", which just so happens to be the 6th book in the first 39 Clues series. When I first heard this song, I thought of the 39 Clues immediately.**

 **Sorry. I'll stop rambling now.**

 **Please review, and if you really like this, then favorite it! I really appreciate all reviews and favorites, so thank you all in advance!**

 **Also, I do plan on writing more for the 39 Clues fandom, I just don't know when.**

 **So, until next time,**

 **~Shadow**


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